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Wednesday, March 30, 2005


Average Joe, Superstar

As I hit "publish" on my last post, I thought, "that may have been too personal." I was right. While it provoked more comments than any other post I've made to date, I wrote it when I was feeling vulnerable, and I don't think "raw vulnerability" is among the feelings I'm comfortable sharing here. Raw joy, perhaps, or raw frustration...but vulnerability is an emotion better dealt with in private and shared only after it's passed, when it can be shared with perspective.

A quick note about the 3 comments that were posted in response: to the reader who encouraged me to help others when I'm feeling that way, thank you... this is good advice, and it was my new year's resolution to start volunteering...this is something I really want to do.

To the person who suggested that if I really had self-esteem, I wouldn't need to "shout about it to the rafters" -- I think we have different notions of shouting. Yes, of course, if a person needs to talk about how confident they are all the time, it makes you wonder. I don't think that's what I was doing. I was saying, I've always prided myself on a certain quality, so it hurts to feel like that quality's weakening. Like someone who always had good handwriting and realizes that it's gotten messier recently. I don't think there's anything wrong with acknowledging my strengths, whether in the context of a discussion of my weaknesses or otherwise. Why is it that it's more socially acceptable to yammer on about your shortcomings than to talk about what you're capable of? I have a great sense of direction, I'm lousy at parking in parking garages, I'm impatient with details that don't interest me but capable of being very detail-oriented when I need to be. We're all experts and novices, superstars and average Joes - what's wrong with admitting that?

Anyway, I've been going through a rough time lately, but I'm back, and ready to get back into a rhythm of daily, or almost daily, postings... so stay tuned.

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